Ashcroft's Army

Song credits: 
words & music by John McCutcheon

Operation TIPS! Sign me up! I wanna be a spy!

I saw him on TV last night
In a suit of somber blue
He said it was time for all Americans
To do what we must do
Take out your x-ray glasses
And your decoder rings
We need ordinary people
To keep an eye on things

So…

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army
I wanna be a spy
I wanna watch my neighbor’s doings
Kiss your rights goodbye
In this legal devolution
A perfect chance for retribution
Let’s just can the Constitution
I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army
I wanna be a fed
I might look like the meter man
But I’m a spook instead
Delivering pizza or the mail
Buddy, you can never tell
I’ll haul your sorry ass to jail
I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army
I wanna be a sleuth
I wanna catch some terrorists
Don’t worry ‘bout the truth
If I see you hanging ‘round
Wearin’ a turban and your skin is brown
You’re gonna take a ride downtown
I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army
I’m gonna be a mole
It’s time to show the rest or my neighbors
Just who’s in control
The Vice-President said, “Shame on you!”
The Attorney General said it too
“Don’t you question what we do!”
I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army
I wanna a G-Man
He used to be a Senator
But now he is a free man
He’s a Attorney General instead
‘Cause the people of Missouri said
“We’d rather vote for a guy who’s dead!”
I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army
But still I’ve gotta wonder
Where was all this spying
When Adelphia went under
When Enron ran off with the loot
And Worldcom went right down the chute
Some terrorists wear pin-striped suits
I wanna be a spy

Charlottesville, VA August, 2002

©2002 John McCutcheon/Appalsongs (ASCAP)

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