Well it’s here, I guess: the 2012 Election Cycle. My poor friends up in Iowa and New Hampshire are bracing for the worst. Despite Obama’s many stumbles (some might say he was tripped…) there doesn’t seem to be anyone giving him a serious run for our money. But I do want to weigh in early here on my preferences.

Speaking as a topical songwriter, I’m begging the Republican Party to please, please, please nominate Donald Trump. Or Michelle Bachman. Now that Haley “What’s-So-Bad-About-White-Citizens-Councils?” Barbour is out of the race and Sarah’s 15 minutes seemed to have expired, I’m concerned that the entertainment value of the campaign might wane. My pleas have nothing to do with policies or polling. No, I miss the “songs handed to me on a silver platter” of the last decade. And, believe me, there are treasure troves to be mined in the daily adventures of political gadflies with eager microphones pushed in their faces 24/7.

So, on behalf of all America, we need more humor and less hubris. More parody and less polarization. The campaign is going to be ugly, nobody expects less these days…and we never get more than the least, it seems. So, for Pete’s sake, throw us songwriters a bone. I promise you we’ll deliver up some funny. You do your part, we’ll do ours.

Thanks. I know we can count on you.